Blah

I'm already tired. I don't know if that's because we just got back from a vacation and I didn't have time to rest up, or if its because this going to bed at 10:30 to wake up at 6 isn't cutting it.

Its day 5 of the new job-- sigh. Day 5 and there's a little bit of dread. I really don't enjoy the fact that she works from home. I feel that the kids should never cry. That in of itself is stressful. Of course they're going to cry! Thing 2 is 2 years old and has never heard the word sharing in her life. That = major melt downs at this age, and if it's close to nap time? Forget it!

I just feel so self conscious and I'm second guessing everything I do. Every. Little. Thing. It's A. annoying, and B. stressful. Also, I'm not a fan of when she comes down for a "break" and messes me all up because of course the kids want to see mom, but that's a no-no because she's still at 'work'. *rolls eyes*

But I can't quit. I just can't do it. I'm sure in a month or so I'll be more adjusted, and I'll have some routines established with the girls. But for right now, I want to cry. But that just might be the sleep deprivation talking (yea yea I know I got 7 hours of sleep but my little tiny self needs 9-10 to really function tip top).

Ugh, here I am whining whining whining. There's a reason there were so many coincidences, and I refuse to just give up like usual. It's only been 5 days! I managed 3 months with my first horrible family. I can at least manage 3 with this one, and then at the 3 month mark, if I'm crying every day. Well then we'll re-evaluate.

And this concludes the whining, self-indulgent pity party. The end.