Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Not Lately

I'm just not into it lately. I sit down to write and I stare at this blank white space and get lost. Cue distraction. My idea of brainstorming is reading other blogs followed by similar versions of this:

"Oh, I wish I would just get up early and bake like that"
"She writes such awesome posts, and they're not novels... Why are my posts so long, and incoherent"
"I used to be an average writer...." (So maybe average is a stretch. In my school I think I was above par, if you could look past my grammar and spelling. I had nice ideas and could convey them smoothly. Not so much these days. Not so much.)
"Her blog always leaves me feeling inadequate... I should go clean."

But Why? I sit down to write and I feel intimidated. I shouldn't feel inadequate. Ever. And yet when I come to this blank space I feel just that; inadequate. My fingers struggle to type and the words just aren't forming. No one's going to tell me I'm wrong or give me a grade, and yet I sit here struggling.

There have been so many time I've sat down with the intent to write and I've done nothing but stare at this page and reflect. I have so many stories and thoughts that I'm sure I could spin beautifully growing the wonderful web that is my life... but don't you see? It sounds forced. It sounds cheesy. Although, it would suit me-- I tend to be a cheesy person in real life.
(I once corrected my aunt when
she called me "a ham."
"No, no no! I'm not a ham...
*cue dramatic voice*
... I'm a GA-LAZED ham"
Been there. Done that. )

As of right now I'l just keep staring at this blank space hoping for inspiration to strike. Or maybe I'll bookmark a thesaurus and boost my vocabulary confidence, and perhaps words will come a little easier. But for now? Bed sounds best.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Just Some Time to Spare

Yesterday I accidentally napped from 5:30-6:15. I was laying on the couch with a blanket and pillow over my face due to a sudden migraine. I ate a bit of dinner, not much due to the naseau the migraine produced, and went to lay down in bed where it was a bit darker.

Well, I accidentally napped again until 9:15. Upon awaking my migraine had gone and I was feeling fine except for the drowsiness of just waking up. I had some water and went back to bed. For good. I slept until 4 am. Ah. Glorious.

I have to be at work an hour early so 4 am works out nicely. I was able to shower, and make corn bread. Have a great breakfast. Do some extra vest. AND wash the dishes. Best part of the day so far? Waking up at 4 am feeling refreshed and not dreading the day. It's always so much nicer to wake up without an alarming blaring at you.

All in all my migraine yesterday that I was cursing was really just a blessing in disguise. I'm all caught up on sleep and I had the time to be productive this morning. It's a win win!