Try, Try, and Try Again.

Kids are amazing. I have this strange love, borderline obsession, with kids. They fascinate me. I could watch kids all day and not get tired. I could read about kids, talk about kids, learn about kids day after day and I would always want more.

Something that I love about kids is their willingness to try. Whether it's trying something new, or trying something again, kids will undoubtedly try. Sure, sometimes it takes a gentle coax, or a nudge in the right direction. But for the most part kids have this relentless spirit of trying.

I see it everyday when I watch baby boy get back up from crawling when he's hit his belly, or try one more time to get that silly rice puff between his index finger and his thumb, and when it falls he doesn't even blink, he just finds it again and he's back at it. Finger to thumb, thumb to finger; puff in between. Eventually it will make its way to his mouth, but for now he's content with trying.

I think for this next month I will be trying. Trying to be better committed to my meds, and trying not to let silly slip-up's get to me. I'd like to try testing my limits by gearing up running a few times a week. And by running I of course mean walking and then taking some jogs in between those walking steps. Eventually I will feel more comfortable running for longer; and on those days that I just can't seem to stick with it, I want to push myself to try.

I don't want to be perfect over this next month, because no body can achieve that goal -- except for maybe Ronnie, I always read his blogs and just find myself thinking "Gosh darn it, why can't he ever not be perfect for once?" haha. But seriously, no one is perfect - including Ronnie -- and I don't want to set myself up with an unrealistic goal only to be disappointed when I fail. As long as I honestly try, then I'm already doing something better than I was before.

Here we go again.

I was doing awesome. I was 6 days into a 100% compliant schedule and I was feeling GREAT. I was rockin' my treatments and even remember that pesky MWF dose of azyithromycin.

And then it happened. I woke up on Saturday with an intense motivation for that day's planned activity: fixing up the porch! Or at least, the very early beginning steps. It wasn't until almost 8:30 that I realized what I had done. I missed my morning treatments! ALL of them! Pills, nebs, the whole kittencaboodle.

Instead of picking myself right back up, I let it get to me. I felt defeated and as I did my nighttime treatments I tried to stay positive but I could feel the insecurities and the guilt creep back in. By sunday the indifference had rolled around. I missed Sunday and Monday(today's) morning treatments.

All I have to say is enough. Just enough. I will pick myself back up, dust myself off and try again. I got 6 days down, let's shoot for 7. I may have missed this morning's doses but tomorrow is a new day, and I still have tonight, so you better believe I'll be adding in a few extra vesting minutes.

I'll get there. One of these days I'll get there.

On a Roll

It's about time. That time where you know you've been due a 'good day' because lately all you've had are lousy ones. Well, folks, I got my good day yesterday! And man, oh man, what a day.

I was able to finally get started on a few things on my ever growing 'to-do' list, but they were fun! Example: I got to go to Ikea and pick up a mirror, and lamp, and a bedside table we have been needing for a while. C'mon now, how can a day with a trip to Ikea be a lousy one? Well, it can't. And it wasn't!

Then, I was surprised by Kyle as he came home early. Which doesn't happen often enough if you ask me. Together we went off to the dog park where Oliver ran and played to his heart's content.

The cherry on top my friends, I have to say, was my adult gymnastics class. I signed up and did my first class hoping for something good. It was a blast. I had such a good time. I was already doing my handsprings and back tucks on the tumble track and it felt so good!

I went home after the hour class already sore! That's how you know you had a good workout. Surprisingly, I'm not that sore today.

All in all it was a great day; I felt great, had a great attitude, and even managed to get a great workout in (along with all my meds!!)

Here's hoping more great days are to come!

[For the record, today has started off pretty well but I don't want to jinx myself here. =) ]

Yesterday's Meds:

AM:

• Tobi
• Vest (30 mins)
• Urso
• Zithromax
• advair
• albuterol

PM:

• Pulmozyme
• Tobi
• Vest (30)
• Ursodiol
• Vitamin D
• M. Vitamin
• Advair

100% (Plus an extra 30 vest from what I normally do)

One Day Down

When I was younger I used to count down to my birthday with the help of small candies. Skittles always happened to be my favorite candy for the job. I would line up around 10 skittles to mark the days before my birthday. Each morning I was allowed to eat one--to mark the passing days-- and I was left with a new skittle countdown.

For some reason as I strapped on my vest this morning, for the second day in a row, I thought about my skittle countdown. There were some years where my birthday was nothing but a regular old bad day. My 'sweet' sixteen stands out; dumped by a boyfriend, my 'big gift' from my mom was an electric tart burner so I wouldn't have candles in my room, and my best friend who found her semi dress at the mall that day while I found nothing. Yet, those ten days before I had my skittles laid out and I enjoyed an edible countdown.

I'm not sure why I used to do that. It took an awful lot of will power just to walk by those remaining skittles. But each day was that much sweeter (literally) when I got to wake up and eat that day's skittle. It was something to look forward to; to congratulate myself on making it one day closer to being a whole year older.

I don't think my motivation slump can be cured by skittles, but I do believe that I need to be celebrating each day for making it one day closer to being a whole year older. That's another morning I get to enjoy, another day I get to tell Kyle I love him. Another night where I get to enjoy the simple pleasure of a hot shower.

I want to be able to celebrate each passing day as a small victory. Just like passing those remaining skittles I know it's going to take some willpower. But it was the willpower that made the remaining skittles taste that much better.

This next section is just to hold me accountable. Ideally I'd like to work saline back into my routine.

Yesterday's Compliance:

Morning:

• vest (30 min)
• tobi
• urso
• advair
• albuterol

Evening:

• Pulmozyme
• Tobi
• Vest (40 min)
• Urso
• Advair
• Vitamins
• Protonix
• Albuterol

Taking charge

I decided to take a break from the blog (if you haven't noticed) because I felt like it was becoming one big whine-fest. Not the kind of fest I want to be a part of. Now, if it was a wine-fest then you could have possibly persuaded me to stay.

However, I was chatting with one of my lifelong friends and she convinced me we both need motivation. She'll be making a blog as long as I update mine. haha That girl.

I need a major motivation overhaul. I find that my life isn't as fun when I have zero motivation. I get pretty grumpy, snappy, and I feel ickier.

I took the first steps today. I woke up feeling very junky -- pretty similarly to yesterday -- and instead of doing my normal "Oh,man this day is going to suck because I know I'll get a fever" I decided to take charge. Not to think about it,but rather just do it. Just like you don't think about going to the bathroom, you just do it; so you'll feel better. Well, I got up ate some cereal and went straight to my vest where I'm now vesting and doing some nebulizers.

They say the first steps are always the hardest, so here's to my first baby steps! Here here!

Oliver

Today I was busy. Today I walked for over an hour. Today I played endless amounts of catch. Today we got a dog!

We had been thinking about getting a dog and we decided we needed a puppy so TK, the cat, could swing at him a few times and show it who's boss but TK passed away unexpectantly 2 weeks ago. Although the event was sad, she showed no signs of pain or even illness and we just assume she was an older kitty.

The silver lining of the kitty getting her angel wings, is that we no longer had to worry about getting a dog small enough to take a Cat beating. Enter the search. Craigslist, SPCA, Pounds, Animal welfare shelters, etc. and the occasional scope on Petfinder.com.

We decided on a general breed. Something medium to large sized. Preferably a shepherd mix. Well after considering two dogs who just didn't quite feel right, we decided to look last minute at the SPCA. And there was Oliver! This cute, floppy eared boy just chomping away on a bone, wagging his tail. He was less than a year old, and he was a german shepherd/Lab mix. Cute as a button (not that it matters because all dogs are cute!). He was soooooo lovable. So friendly, and climbed right up into kyle's lap (as best he could outside). haha.

We filled out an application with the idea that we could always so no the next day if it wasn't the right time. We went home and discussed it and we decided that he was the one!

Oh man. We brought him home today and he is one smart boy! He did live with a family who had him for 5 months who surrendered him for 'not having enough time' so he knows "sit" he may have been learning 'down' because he mastered it after 3 or 4 treats. Either that or he's super smart! (I personally believe the latter).

He seems like a wonderful companion and is truly a sweetheart. He didn't even pick up anything that didn't belong to him. He only put his 3 toys in his mouth; I mean we had sneakers out and the recycling was overflowing... but he only played with his tennisball and 2 rope toys. Although he does like to eat rocks and sticks outside. hmmm. He never jumped on any of the furniture and kept all paws on the ground ( 90 % of the time).

He's still a little excited around the weasels and thinks they are bigger than they are. He also seems to be a nibbler. He'll definitely catch on to training quick and he seems so eager to please. I'm also eager to teach him how to walk on a leash properly so we can go jogging together!

I took him for such a long walk today and it felt amazing! I thought I was only gone for 20 minutes and turns out I was gone for an hour and twenty minutes! I think he's just the motivation and companion I need at this point in my life.

Welcome to the family Oliver! We love you already you goof.

Just call me Ratatouille

I like to plan. A lot. Too much, even. So when I optimistically prepare a weekly menu, usually only about half to 1/3 of the things actually get made. That's why this week, when I was able to make everything on the weekly menu I thought I would share!

I decided that when I usually make menu's I have too many complicated recipes. This leads to the problem of time and energy. If I'm low on energy I scratch the complex dinner, and well, if I'm short on time... it's pasta for dinner and I don't even bother to throw a second glance at the menu. This time I think I had the right combination of easy and hard recipes in both energy and time demands. (Granted, this is tailored to what I consider easy and what I consider hard).

20-30 minutes:

Orange Pork: I fry pork cubes in some sesame oil and then add soy sauce, orange juice, brown sugar, ginger, and garlic. YUM!

Rice Noodles

Green beans

1 Hour:

Turkey Lasagna (1/2 lb of ground turkey)

Green Peppers

French Bread (I actually forgot the french bread but the lasagna was so filling it didn't matter!)

15 minutes:

Turkey Burgers on Ciabatta Bread (remaining 1/2lb of ground turkey)

Potato Chips

Carrot Sticks

Pickle

30 minutes prep (3.5 hours on 'high' setting on the crock pot)

Beef stew - in the crock pot -- so easy!

Biscuits

30-40 minutes:

Homemade Pizza

Celery sticks

milkshakes

While I was chopping and preparing everything for the beef stew last night I also chopped some extra potatoes and boiled them along with 2 eggs and made some potato salad! Added bonus? It only took an additional 10 minutes!! woohoo.

Recently I've been buying meats in bulk. Pork chops, pork tenderloin, and chicken breast can all be found in my freezer. When I buy a big bulk of chicken breast, for example, I'll trim off all the fat on each breast, slice it thin (that's how we like to eat it) and baggie 2 portions. That way when it comes time for dinner I just grab a baggie, pop it in the microwave for a minute of defrosting and it's ready to cook. It's become so nice to just know that we can cook up some chicken or pork at any minute's notice. It's really made a difference in making dinners... and snacks.

Any kitchen tricks you use all the time that you couldn't imagine not living without?