Sunday, October 17, 2010

Just that kind of week...

Ever feel like screaming? I certainly do.

I'm sick of being sick
I'm sick of not knowing what lies ahead
I'm sick of feeling guilty
I'm sick of feeling sorry
I'm sick of hating other people
I'm sick of being indecisive
I'm sick of judging myself too hard
But mostly I'm sick of being sick

I'm tired of being tired
I'm tired of trying extra hard
I'm tired of pretending
I'm tired of being careful
I'm tired of being responsible
I'm tired of trying to care
But mostly I'm tired of being tired

I'm fed up with being fed up
I'm fed up with schedules
I'm fed up with no answers
I'm fed up with ignorance
I'm fed up with fighting
I'm fed up with numbers
I'm just plain old fed up

Does it ever end? Can you ever just 'accept it?' Is anyone ever content and how did they get there? Can I get there? I'm sick of being sick, and tired of being tired. I've been trying so hard and I feel defeated. I feel so unaccomplished with my life. I feel so useless. I'm lost in the shuffle.

I've lost my motivation. It was brightly colored and fun to be around. So if you find it hiding somewhere, would you kindly return it to me?

1 comment:

Gem said...

I think our motivation has run off hand in hand into the sunset!!! BUGGERS!!! COME BACK!!!!! Sending you hugs and snogs and you know where my inbox hides on facebook if you need a rant :D xxx