I'm so lucid, but everything I say is a bit 'off'....

that was my catch phrase yesterday. I told EVERYONE that. I had a blast. Whatever they gave me was awesome. It was Novocaine on crack. It seriously kept my lower jaw numb for over 12 hours! I kept ice on my face for the first 7 or 8 hours because it felt so nice, and I didn't get sent up with any instructions so the nurses didnt see the harm in letting me keep them on. Although, they were trying to get me to take breaks here and there but i didn't. haha. I think thats why I wasn't swelling yesterday and could talk so well.

Overall, it went very smoothly, and now its just 'painful' but manageable with some morphine. coughing however, is a different story. When I do cough, it hurts! Because you put so much pressure into your jaw or mouth really when you cough, and you don't realize it till your mouth hurts and then you're like WOW that does hurt. so my body has not been coughing very much. I coughed a total of 4 times yesterday and a handful of times today. Yesterday coughing sucked because I couldn't swallow very well due to the tube they had to put down my throat, and the Novocaine on crack relaxed so many of my mouth/throat muscles that I couldn't control my tongue very well - haha this was funny!!-- so when I coughed, I obviously coughed up nice thick stuff b/c I hadn't been coughing at all, but have a lot of junk in there. Well, it got stuck at the back of my throat. I couldn't 'spit it up' because I didn't have control of those muscles, and I couldn't swallow it because A. my mouth was so dry and B. it hurt so much and C. it was so sticky it wasn't moving. I literally had to let water dribble down my throat for almost an hour till it was gone.

haha get this, I tried to scrape it off the back of my tongue with one of those sponge-on-a-stick, but I got caught and was told I couldn't stick anything in my mouth like that. haha oh well.... worth a try.

Anywhoo, todays been okay. mouth hurts but its not pain i'm used to. I'm used to sharper more intense pain that goes away quickly, think-- breathing lung spams, joint movement pain, etc. This, this is new to me. Its painful but at the same time not? Its very achy, very very achy to the point of pain. If that makes sense. Its tight and i keep biting my cheeks haha. but its much more of a constant achy tight pain than a sharp pain, again, like I'm used to. So when they ask me to 'rate my pain' I'm very conflicted, because I'm very uncomfortable but I know I've had worse pain in my life so I dont know what to say. I've told them that unless I'm in tears and I am dying I probably wont ever go above an 9. That said Without any morphine or motrin I'm a seven-seven and a half. When I cough, it pushed on that 9. With morphine (IV pain killer) it takes me down to maybe a 5 but nothing less than that. Its very weird. So we've been trying morphine with regular motrin and then some Tylenol with codine... idk I just seem to be uncomfortable all the time, the degree to which varies depending on the drugs, but overall its uncomfortable.. I wouldn't say I'm in agony or anything just uncomfortable, but I wasn't expecting this type of 'pain'. Its just very foreign and bizarre. Almost makes me think -- this is what people think hurts? I've had some stomach aches much worse than this that I would have loved to get morphine for... which again is why I don't use anything above an 8 maybe 9 on the pain scale because it can always get worse.

Overall though, I'm doing really really well. My teeth haven't bleed today so we seem to be in good shape. I ate food today, including some small small pieces of chicken. AND the best news, I haven't lost any weight! even with not eating for about 3 days since i've been here basically.

My docs are really good too. He said right now try chest pt only how and when I feel I cna handle it, we'll keep the pain undercontrol as much as possible because of the 8.5 pain I feel with coughing... and then we'll just be very aggressive after the next day or so when I come off the morphine and can cough good again, and its not painful. sounds like a plan to me!

I love everyone here, they do such a good job. It really makes me appreciate how much time and effort they put in for my care and well being. I try to learn everyones name- I feel its the least I can do. I am going to try to make thank you cards for everyone here just so they know how much they are truly appreciated.

hope everyone is doing well, and feeling good.

xoxoxoxoxo