Monday, April 26, 2010

Nothing to do, again.

So here it is 11:14 pm and I'm blogging again. Usually I'm lucky if I can remember to blog once a month, never-mind twice a day. But I'm hooked up to the vest doing a neb, and I feel emotionally drained. I just don't feel like doing anything. I have no motivation. I just don't see where I'm going, or how I can get there.

I still have no friends down in Virginia. That's a bummer. I love kyle to death, but it hurts not having a girlfriend to talk to, or shop with, or eat out for lunch with. And I really have no way of finding such friends, not working or going to school. So basically, I'm pretty lonely. I live on the internet. What type of life is that? It's not very fulfilling, it's blurry, pixelated, and the noise level varies with each youtube video. It gets old fast. There's only so many things I can check: facebook- exhausted, -- exhausted, all the blogs I follow -- done, email? ha! like I get emails. =\ School email? Nope not in school right now. Craigslist -- sad to say but I've looked through everything...twice.

Where does it end?! The madness. Life is too short to be bored. But it's also too short to do something you don't want to do. I just can't figure out what the heck I want to do, in the moment. Right now. Something non-permanent, so that when more permanent things come about I can be ready for them (think kiddies).

Gah I don't know why I do this. I just am never satisfied with what I have, what I'm doing, or rather, my life in general. I just feel so lost all the time. I put in so much effort to stay as healthy as possible, but for what? I'm not too sure. As of right now, its so I can check facebook 400 times a day, and read/live through other people via their blogs.

And now that I've vented and whined pretty successfully I'm going to bed, where at least dreaming isn't so bad.

1 comment:

Gem said...

Drop me an e-mail if you're bored! Nebulising is the biggest pain in the bum there is especially if you're tired and feeling emotionally drained! Xx